It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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