The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
