my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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