I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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