Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
