we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
