whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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