she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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