Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize