giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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