im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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