Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
