the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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