Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
