I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
