I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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