her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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