The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
