It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
