she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
