What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
