Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Will exercising make me less horny?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
