What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
