I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
