I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
this hospital has no fireball
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
