There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize