4 words: hood of his car
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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