i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
