She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You are a genius and a whore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
