ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
love makes seman taste better
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize