Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
