I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
