i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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