The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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