What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
