I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
