yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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