this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
