Don't you send me to vm
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
