He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
