Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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