I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
