oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize