apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
