Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
