Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
