I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Me too!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
