brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
