well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
