3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
