I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
