There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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