No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bring money and cleavage
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
