i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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