he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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