we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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