do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
