Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
