Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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