i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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