I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
